After a full examination, the doctor cocked his head and asked, “Denise, did you get your hair done?” “Why, yes. “We had a singing group the other day that performed without... Tanned, relaxed, and unshaven, I landed at the Denver airport after returning from my bucolic Caribbean vacation. He winked at her. When Reddit user opkc changed her afternoon routine once, her dog was not having it. But next month it will be full-time.” —Darlene Query. One day, I was driving over a new bridge, the design of which was very confusing. I wore it confidently to an evening party and glowed when a woman exclaimed, “Oh, how stunning!” Yes, I was grinning from ear to ear, until she added cheerfully, “Hang on to it, honey. My great-aunt looked confused when I told her that my daughter was 18 months old. Reddit, Acting Against Hate Speech, Bans ‘The_Donald’ Subreddit . This is a subreddit that specializes in pictures of people who were going through an awkward phase. I never had kids.”. Let's Not Meet is a highly entertaining subreddit that will completely freak you out... and have you looking over your shoulder everywhere you go. Reddit is a network of communities based on people's interests. “Remember that baby bird we found on the sidewalk the other day?” she asked. “No,” said the teen. See how your stories compare with these with these funny short stories you can share with the whole family. “That sounds great. —K.H. Now thoroughly deflated, he asked, “Does that mean I’m not 18?” —David Hansen. I really enjoyed these cute stories. Back to the Index of Best Funny Short Stories. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he said. Did you learn something cool today? “I don’t do impressions.” The dentist continued, “—of your teeth.”. As a head cashier in a departmental store, I had to open and close the cash registers of the cashiers. Who else wants to go there right this instant?! I finally exploded at the kitten: “You’d better sit down; you’re getting on my nerves!” “I thought she was a year and a half.”, “But Aunt Marie," I said, “18 months and a year and a half are the same.”, She shrugged. The men wrote, “Woman, without her man, is nothing.” The women wrote, “Woman! The 5 Funny Websites You Should Read Every Day. These pics are always awesome, and the images found in this subreddit will not disappoint. Living in rural Minnesota, I find driving through crowded Minneapolis difficult. I checked on my six-year-old son one morning, and he wasn’t in his bed. Visiting Annapolis, I noticed several plebes on their hands and knees holding pencils and clipboards. You get to decide what kind of content you see when you log in. Pleats will come back someday.” —Mary Lou Wickham. We’ll send your costume... At an event famous for giving out awards in bizarre categories, the emcee enthusiastically announces, “The next prize will go to the laziest person in the audience. One day, my physician father treated himself to a plate of raw oysters and offered to share them with me. These funny stories will have you laughing for days. I was admiring my aunt’s necklace when she surprised me by announcing, “I’m leaving it to you in my will.” I was overjoyed, perhaps too much. “It’s just something coaches do,” I said. Interested, she confessed that she, too, was considering retirement. Here are a few of our favorite answers. “No, sorry, I’m not.” “Are you sure? “It’s not personal.” His response was hard to argue with: “If it’s not personal, then why do they use your name?”. Just as I was about to dig in, he picked up an oyster, examined it, and commented, “They remind me of infected tonsils.”And that’s the story of how he ended up eating the entire plate of oysters himself. People are posting hilarious jokes about 2020 that a lot of … … “Thank you,” she said. Anyone can join Reddit for free simply by signing up for an account, but what some people may not realize is that Reddit's front page is entirely customizable for each user. I would like to share a joke: A student was asked by English Teacher to change the voice of the sentence, “I made a mistake”. You've seen these kinds of images before; the sort of perfectly-timed action shots that you can't believe someone actually caught on camera? “We have a Toyota.”. I was admiring my aunt’s necklace when she surprised me by announcing, “I’m leaving it to you in my will.” I was overjoyed, perhaps too much. One day, a newly appointed bright-looking girl came to the register and said loudly, "Turn me on!". “I can’t remember,” she said. One night, I was at the nurses’ station when I heard a little boy in his room talking. It's easy to be ridiculous, or worse—boring. The 2016 election also led to some funny requests. This subreddit will make you feel better about yourself, because at least you're not this cringey. A man approaches the counter; his shirt, hat, backpack, tattoos, and body odor all proudly proclaim his affection for marijuana. This is where people share stories of near-misses, almost-kidnapping, stalkers, and other scary real-life monsters. Reply. BuzzFeed Staff, by Allie Hayes. People That Have Willingly Engaged in Incest Share Their Stories August 3, 2020 Leave a comment. My three-year-old grandson asked his mother whether his younger brother used to be in her stomach. At one point during the road test, he approached a four-way stop, looked to his... After my husband injured himself, I ran him over to the doctor’s office. Subscribing to subreddits is like eating potato chips - once you start, you can't stop. I explained to him that it's called riding bareback. “That’s Mum’s side.”. “I know what you mean,” she said. He then asked for some e-cigarette products and handed me his ID to prove he was... My mother was browsing in a store when a saleswoman offered assistance. I was describing my job as an engineer to some middle schoolers when I mentioned that “one of my colleagues and I designed a medical instrument for measuring human muscle tone.” Later, I added, “another colleague and I designed a system to allow merchants to print coupons at the cash register.” Thinking that all this technical talk was confusing, I asked if there were any questions. As my two sons were climbing into the back seat of our car, Eric, five, yelled, “I call the left side!” That didn’t sit well with Ron, four. “I don’t think I’ll ever get these flowers planted,” she moaned.... My six-year-old loved his pet fish. A coworker once showed up to the office in a white wedding dress with a crinoline, beading—the works. We crafted, painted, and colored. The first thing I did when I heard our great-granddaughter was born was to text my son: “You are a great uncle!” He texted me back immediately: “Thank you. My mother and I suffered through an overlong, confusing movie at an art theater. “Oh,” she said. “That’s us in ten years,” he says. Reply. The nurse asked the usual questions, including if she had an STD. Relieved, I said to a fellow hostage, “There’s a first time for everything.” She grumbled back, “There’s a last time for everything too.”. Screenshots of text messages abound in this subreddit, but there's more to it than that. A lot has already happened in the first half of 2020 - from the coronavirus pandemic to Australia's devastating bushfires. If you think you qualify, raise your hand.” Everyone raises their hands except a middle-aged man who seems to show little interest. A Few More Short Comedy Stories. The only toilets in our camping area were outhouses, which he had not used before. He took his time browsing and examining everything I had out for... My 11-year-old takes his homework seriously. Anyone who ever rocked a terrible haircut and braces back in 7th grade will recognize the cringe in these pics! Living in rural Minnesota, I find driving through crowded Minneapolis difficult. “Congratulations! wowwww ths is so lovely of you people. After using the outhouse, he stepped out the door and yelled to me, "Hey mom, where is the flusher??". The Number One Twitter and Reddit reveal 2020’s top posts and hashtags, from COVID-19 and Black Lives Matter to the U.S. election Published: Dec. 8, 2020 at 5:10 p.m. Best Subreddits You Should Follow in 2020 … I grew up above my father’s tavern. The Russian couple's sex life was terrible, so they were quite excited when Moscow's first sex store opened up across the street. No sob stories. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. My friends and I decided to sit on the glider, and talk as teenage girls will do. This "porn" is 100% SFW (Safe for work) because it contains nothing but pure, stunning vistas found in nature. Mom admitted she didn’t have anything particular in mind, and the pair started chatting. It fit perfectly, and the skirt was a swirl of intricate pleats. I wore it confidently to an evening... A customer walked into my clothing shop and asked to see the pants that were advertised in the paper that day. None of us had 20/20 vision about how bad 2020 would be. In a recent Reddit thread, sex workers shared stories about their clients' fun, funny, and yes, somewhat unusual, desires. “I never know at which cornfield to turn when we come to visit you.”. “But don’t worry,” I said with a grin. I hope life brings you much success. I loved the dress that I bought at a flea market. Heck, there's a whole subreddit devoted to gifs of baby elephants. Everything from current events and politics to funny memes has a place here, and one needs only to search for a subject that interests them to find an entire community of like-minded souls looking to share their web findings and daily musings with others. Where’d you stay?” asked a colleague. I realized that one day when my kitten was running around my bedroom, climbing onto shelves and into the dresser as I was getting ready for work. "Open my register," "Please let me start," and "Give me the go-ahead," were some of the terms used by cashiers. “What are they doing?” I asked our tour guide. When my son was four-years-old, we went camping in a primitive area with a tent. When the box with my Halloween costume arrived, it was empty. It is the middle of quarantine. A sign on the front porch gave me my answer: “It’s an Uncle!”. 2020 is still far from over but a lot of people think that it’s one of the worst years in recent modern history. “I wear this for Mommy so she can show Daddy when he gets home.” —James Avery. “Interesting.” After a pause, he said, “Let’s get an impression—” “It’s more observational humor, actually,” I interrupted. “I don’t remember the name of the group.”. Tanned, relaxed, and unshaven, I landed at the Denver airport after returning from my bucolic Caribbean vacation. It is easier than you think. “Sir! Thanks for sharing! After a full examination, the doctor cocked his head... A few of us were discussing the perils of drinking and driving when my five-year-old granddaughter threw in her two cents. WHOOOOO doesn't like owls? When I was a proofreader, I shared with my coworkers this example to illustrate how writing can skew based on gender: A professor wrote on the blackboard, “Woman without her man is nothing.” The students were then instructed to insert the proper punctuation. “I thought she was a year and a half.” “But Aunt Marie,”... My daughter was anxious to do some landscaping at her new home, but then she called up sounding discouraged. There, the nurse dressed his wound and gave him instructions on how to care for it. Reddit rolled out its multireddit feature, the site's biggest change to its front page in years, in 2013. Is there any way to make that happen?” Billy nodded. On the morning my friend went into labor, I happened to drive by her house, wondering what she’d had. One night, I was unsure what the meat on my dinner plate was, so I pointed to... After my kids bragged about what levels they’d attained in a video game, I decided to give it a try. You make good things happen. “Oh!” I shouted. She agreed. Shower Thoughts are those fleeting thoughts you might have while taking a shower, daydreaming, and generally going about your business. After my husband injured himself, I ran him over to the doctor’s office. (If you're looking for that, try Insane People on Facebook.) I had a chance encounter with a pastor who told me about a wonderful event held at his church. “How much for the dog?”. Apparently we were not the only dissatisfied patrons. His wife could commiserate. Years later, as an adult, I found out that my father would throw a few coins over the bar for us to find in the morning. Flooding in it cost him only a dollar a day to have fight. Some landscaping at her new home, but thought provoking stories and Jokes a collection of subreddits which. Source for funny memes that you can share with the today I Learned ( TIL ) tag author from. 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